There is some good advice here. If you want to fight, it's a fairly dangerous strategy, to what end? If you win, you would still be an elder. The whole thing may be waking to your wife as you say. You could then resign on your own terms and possibly play the famous "stumbled" card.
If you just let events take their course you will be in the enviable position of being off the tread mill.
I think your wife is the biggest factor in this, sometimes "winning her over without a word" works. She will see the machinations, observe the positive effects of you being relieved of the burden and possibly be helped along the way.
Good luck with it all. We all care on here I'm sure. SF